BE HEALTHILY SELFISH- Protect your mood and your energy.
One thing 2020 has taught us, is that caring for ourselves is part of caring for others. We’ve learned that setting goals and boundaries is a necessary part of keeping well. This reality is very heightened in lockdown, where we must rely on our own self regulation patterns and decisions.
Self-care is no longer a selfish term.Taking time out for yourself doesn’t mean you’re less good as a mother or a worker or a partner, in fact it means the very opposite. It means that you are minding and protecting your own energy and mood so that you can be better at everything that you do and for longer.
So ” lean in” to your own self care.
Structuring your day as discussed last week TIP 2 – will help you prioritise what you need and want to do, but there are people and events that can drain your precious energy and good mood and you need to watch out for them and respond in a way that protects you.
Be careful of your own news feed- it’s important to be informed, but when you are witnessing, in a passive way, the suffering and difficulties of others it can have a draining effect on your mood and energy. So consider when enough is enough. You may need to reduce the amount of news you’re watching or reading. Especially consider reducing the personal narratives that involve details. If you identify with the storyteller you will find these narratives more upsetting. If you can see yourself in the story, it will evoke a deeper reaction- and the sadness or upset you feel can change your mood for the whole day.
Be aware of behaviours and relationships that are’nt lifting you.
You may have to to step back a little from friends or family who have a pattern of downloading their woes to you, but not doing much else – you’re not being cruel when you do that, you’re taking care of yourself and you must.
Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself because then and only then can you conduct the various roles and functions of your own life.
Others must take similar steps to get better and feel better and when you step back, you actually place that responsibility back where it should be. It may even be a light bulb moment for them- a prompt in other words.
Check in with yourself, during the day.
See if you’re feeling ” on track” or “derailed” from your own structure or plan.
Check what’s doing it….what’s going wrong…what’s distracting you?
Is it too many demands from someone….too many phone calls….too much social media feed- what is it?
Be honest with yourself and factor in corrective action for tomorrow.
If you change nothing,then nothing changes.
Putting yourself first, for some time everyday is basic to your own self care and doubly important in this lockdown phase.